Running Away from Problems
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Is it Bad To Run Away From Your Problems?
If you find you are always running away from problems, maybe it’s time to brush up on your coping skills.
Life can come at us pretty hard sometimes. A challenge here and a problem there can pile up and truly throw us into a tailspin. Depending on our coping skills and resilience we either manage these trials or we run from them. In fact, running away from problems can be the default for some folks.
Why do some people have a much harder time handling adversity? Since we are all wired in a unique way, it can come down to our personality traits, temperament, and maturity. How we were raised also plays a part, as some kids didn’t have stable parent role models.
Some of us simply lack self-confidence, while others just don’t want to deal with the discomfort or stress involved. No matter what the cause of our struggle to face problems, learning new coping skills will be helpful.
Why Do We Run Away from Our Problems?
We all know the example of the ostrich sticking its head in the sand, and often can relate to that. Turning a blind eye toward something we fear or don’t know how to deal with seems like a perfect move.
At some point, though, that strategy stops working and the piper must be paid. The overdue bills, the upset spouse, the late project at work, or the medical issue we keep putting off. All these problems are not going to go away because we don’t want to face them. Sadly, we cannot will our troubles away.
No one wants to suffer. We all hate pain of all kinds, whether it is emotional strife, money problems, or health issues. We want to run away from these, but all we end up doing is kicking the can down the road. Taking the easy way out isn’t going to cut it. What we need are some solid coping skills.
What Are Coping Skills?
The way we cope with life’s lemons will often depend on our own coping mechanisms. In some people these skills are highly developed, while others may struggle to know how to handle any problem.
Even when we do want to manage the problem we are facing, maybe we don’t feel equipped to handle it. A lack of confidence or knowledge can keep us frozen in our tracks. Sometimes we just do not have any background handling problems. Maybe someone else, such as a parent or a spouse, has always handled problems for us so we have poorly developed coping skills.
There are also maladaptive coping skills to watch out for. These often include compulsive behaviors. Some may use drugs or alcohol to numb themselves so they don’t have to face their problems. Others may engage in compulsive shopping or gambling in order to distract themselves from facing their troubles.
How to Improve Our Coping Skills
We can always learn new ways to cope better. The first step, of course, is to admit you are challenged in this realm. Owning up to the shortcoming takes courage and humility. From there you can begin to improve your coping skills in these ways:
- Take responsibility. Instead of passing the buck, making excuses, or blaming someone else for an issue, you mindfully accept responsibility for it.
- Look for solutions. Coping with your problems means learning how to seek answers for solving them, not running away from them. Ask friends for advice, hire an expert, watch a DIY video on YouTube, or research the issue on Google.
- Accept reality. If your boyfriend ghosts you or your new boss doesn’t like you, it is best to cut your losses and move on. Better to learn how to accept the truth than to lie to yourself and prolong the pain.
- Face adversity. Life is hard and going through rough patches is part of it. Good coping skills allow you to face hard times and just grit your teeth and get through them.
- Learn how to relax. Learning how to manage stress can help you face your problems. Coping skills include learning relaxation methods, like yoga or deep breathing.
What is Resilience?
It is one thing to learn how to cope better with our problems, versus running from them. But when you talk about resilience it is different from simply coping. How resilient we are is quite unique to each person. For instance, resilient people are able to face very serious life events but are still able to function well and not crumble.
So how does someone bounce back from hardship and not become hopeless? How do you improve resilience? In many ways, resilience is an inner trait, something you are just born with. If you are lucky, the better your resilience, the better you will be able to cope.
You can improve resilience by taking these actions:
- Keep a gratitude journal.
- Nurture relationships.
- Develop a spiritual life.
- Practice mindfulness.
- Practice self-care.
The key to being more resilient is to not give up hope when struggles come, but to take the needed steps to get through them.
Setting Goals to Improve Problem Solving and Coping Skills
As much as you might truly want to improve your coping skills you may benefit from some help. A therapist can offer guidance and some skill building exercises to assist you in gaining these essential life skills. They will counsel you on ways to become more able and willing to face and manage problems.
That is only half the process, though. Using therapy, the mental health expert will also attempt to reveal the reasons why you run from your problems. New insights can shed light on subconscious signals that keep you in the state of denial. The therapist is trained to identify these and show you how to overcome them. This two-pronged approach can help you attain more control over your life, and also help you build resilience.
Mental Health Hope is an Online Resource for Mental Health Needs
If you find yourself running away from problems, the team at Mental Health Hope can help. We are a free resource helping guide people to the treatment and support they need for a mental health issue. If you need help facing life’s trials, give us a call today at (877) 967-9274.
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