Running Away from Problems

If you find yourself consistently running away from problems, it may be a good time to take a look inside. The habit of running from troubles or conflicts is like a child who hasn’t developed conflict resolution or coping skills. As an adult, these skills are essential to healthy functioning in society. Let’s dive into the tendency to bolt when things become uncomfortable instead of working the problem out.

What Motivates Us to Run Away from Problems?

When searching for the “why,” if we’re being honest with ourselves it’s hard to avoid the elephant in the room. It is fear that drives us to run from our troubles, which triggers the subsequent avoidance behaviors. We fear facing the problem because it may involve conflict, arguing, anger, or hurt feelings. It is easier to avoid those negative emotions than to confront the problem. 

Examples of Running Away from Troubles

Essentially, running away from problems is simply avoidance. Instead of working out the problem and finding a solution, it seems easier to hide from it. There are numerous ways this avoidance behavior plays out in daily life. Here are some examples of what it looks like to run away from your problems:

• Leaving a relationship. You might be in a close relationship or a friendship that has encountered some challenges. Instead of facing the problem and working it out with the other person, you bail.
• Staying in a toxic relationship. On the other hand, you might stay in an unhealthy relationship because it is easier than striking out on your own. This is a more passive-aggressive style of running away from a problem.
• Social media or gaming. With social media competing for our attention, many people spend hours scrolling through content to avoid other tasks. Video games also keep us immersed and distracts us from real life problems.
• Shutting down emotionally. Another form of avoidance is to shut down your emotional connection with someone. Maybe you’ve been hurt by the person, but instead of confronting them, you erect an ice shield instead.
• Gaslighting or picking fights. Keeping the other person off balance through gaslighting or constant conflict is another way people avoid facing reality. The lies or exaggerations you say about the person keep friction in the air, allowing for no resolution to the core issue.
• Quitting your job. Leaving your job right away when you feel unhappy or have a problem with a coworker can lead to constant unemployment. Every job has some downsides. If you run away every time you feel slighted, it can hurt your career goals.
• Ignore and pretend. Like a child who closes their eyes and covers their ears to avoid something scary, adults do the same thing in a grown-up way. By ignoring a bad situation, they avoid addressing it and finding a resolution.
• Making excuses. Another childish behavior is to make excuses rather than own up to the problem we might have created for ourselves. It is easier to obfuscate, make excuses, or blame others rather than accepting responsibility.

What Keeps Us from Facing Our Problems?

So, what is it that prevents us from facing our problems like a grown up? Here are three culprits:

• Not wanting to take responsibility. By not taking responsibility for the fix we’re in, and owning it, we continue to deflect the blame away from ourselves.
• Ego or pride. Our pride often stands in the way of facing problems head on. With our ego in control of our actions, we fool ourselves into believing we are blameless. 
• Fear or anxiety. For many people who run from their troubles, the reason is simple – it’s fear. Fear of repercussions, fear of being looked down upon, fear of admitting guilt, or fear of paying for our mistakes. 

5 Techniques to Help Us Stop Running Away from Problems

There are some helpful actions to take that can help us overcome the aversion to facing our problems. Consider these:

1. Stop assuming the worst. It starts in your own head, when you catastrophize and exaggerate the possible outcomes for a given problem. Don’t assume the worst-case scenario. Instead, make an effort to become more positive-minded and start expecting the best instead of fearing the worst.
2. Make the first move. Don’t let your pride stand in the way of rectifying a problem. If it’s a problem at work or in a relationship, initiate the conversation to try to work it out. If it’s a creditor, don’t wait for debt collectors, take the initiative to work out a solution with them.
3. Face the consequences. Look at the situation from this angle: Why not stop the bleeding and handle the problem before it causes more strife in your life. Running away from problems is no way to live. Better to own up and be done with it.
4. Stop sabotaging your future. Maybe you’ve noticed a pattern. Could it be that you run away from something that could be a positive because you are afraid of failing. Don’t allow the fear of being rejected or possibly failing sabotage your future.
5. Work together to solve the problem. Stop assuming you are the only person who can solve a problem. Even you are in a relationship, engage your partner in finding solutions together.

Knowing When It’s Time to Get Help

If you continue to repeat the avoidance behaviors, you may be struggling with undiagnosed anxiety disorder. If so, a mental health retreat might be the right next step. These are residential holistic treatment programs that guide you in forming new coping techniques to manage anxiety. Treatment plans are customized to address your specific mental health challenge. Consider giving a retreat a try!

Mental Health Hope Offers Support and Guidance

Mental Health Hope is a team of mental health experts that can help you get the support you need to stop running away from problems. For information about mental health retreats, give us a call today at (424) 622-6369 .